If you find yourself devaluing what a friend is sharing, belittling them, being unsupportive of their moral stances, undermining their efforts, giving false dress codes to a function, are non-compliant of previously set boundaries and basically being a draining one~way street, you’re being a frienemy. Please stop that shit or you will have no real friends left and will not be able to keep new ones for long. Start by listening and valuing the ethics of others, support their stance, keep shtum about things the other person has entrusted to you, respect boundaries and FFS did I mention NOT to tittle~tattle.
Also if you recognise some of these traits in your friends, then you’ve got an infestation of frienemies. I suggest you be grateful for the discernment and make a choice:
One is to end the relationship soon, before they tell someone something that can land you in the dangerously deep, hard to get out of, slimy, stinking shit!
Another more gracious approach is to keep the frienemy by careful management e.g. never passing on information, giving them a taste of mercy by remaining in their life (but I’m not personally sure at this present time how that is achievable, I might need to work on that).
A strange yet enlightening time is had, when you ask the universe to protect you from your enemies and you start losing friends.
Post Script: Inoculation boosters against pain from a frienemy are friends.
If you ask me this question, most times I am totally willing to tell you, so beware of that. If you want to be a part of my life, if I want to be a part of yours, then we have to communicate what’s going on in there (Bexy points mentally to her head). That’s how interpersonal relationships and support structures are made, kept and developed. Thing is, it takes more than one person to communicate effectively, it takes at least two:
When you get the opportunity, please take the time to teach someone a skill you know, if that skill be a constructive one like gardening, first aid or listening with a loving heart…
The word opportunist has a bad press, but that I believe I am a skilled opportunist for kindness. That is to say if there’s an opportunity before me to be kind, I would like to think I would go for it. I most certainly will keep an eye open for ways to share this skill.
p.s. Listening to ourselves is a loving act of equality. How can we be truly loving to others, if we don’t experience the love unto ourselves? Listening to the truth within and listening to others, this is real love.